Episode 5

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Published on:

19th Dec 2024

Why Re-Delegating Chores to Kids Creates Mental Load

When husbands pass chores off to their kids it creates more mental load for women.

In today's hot take, Katlynn discusses why passing the buck on chores might seem helpful and like husband's are teaching kids a lesson, but it really just keeps the mental load in place.

More and more, men are realizing and becoming aware of the need to lighten the mental load in their households. Especially when it comes to daily chores and tasks. A new trend we've noticed emerging however, is that, when men are asked to do a task or chore, instead of taking it on, they re-delegate or pass the buck, to their kids.

Here's how it plays out:

Husband: deep fries chicken for dinner (yum!)

Wife: can you clean up the grease off the stove before bed?

Husband to oldest child: go clean up the stove for your mom

Mom: has to supervise cleaning of grease

The problem with re-delegating chores to kids is twofold:

  1. It sends the message to kids that they can get out of doing household labor by simply passing off the work to someone in the house with less authority than them.
  2. It doesn't actually eliminate the mental load - it forces women to re-acquire the mental load by either having to supervise or teach a new skill instead of focusing on what they originally set out to do by asking for their husbands to take on the task.

Passing the buck doesn't help the mental load, it creates more or at the very least, keeps it in place.

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About the Podcast

The Mental Load
Breaking a generational cycle to create equal households
Two millennial moms explore the mental load. Here’s the deal, we’re the first generation of women who saw both of our parents work outside the home. And, because kids are oblivious to how much work it takes to actually raise them, we naturally assumed that our parents split everything else it took to run our households. Then we grew up, got married and were like what the f***? You know this conversation. You probably have it with your mom friends all the time. It’s your never ending to-do list. The perception that you’re the household manager and keeper of all the stuff and the things. The mental load is so much more complex than delegating out chores and duties or telling women to practice “self care” or “take a day off”. We don’t want a day off, we want husbands who are more “switched on” throughout the day. How do we have this conversation in our household? What systems keep the mental load in place? Why does the mental load even exist? We’re here to explore all of these topics and really dig into the small and large changes that need to happen in order to better support women and therefore, families in America.
And we’re here to bring this conversation to the forefront and help break a generational cycle so that as we raise girls AND boys, they know what it means to truly have an equal household.

About your host

Profile picture for Katlynn Pyatt

Katlynn Pyatt

Hi! I'm Katlynn. I'm a mom of three kids: Hudson, Nora and Willa. I might be biased, but they're pretty amazing kids. I'm super proud of myself for making them! I also have a very loving and supportive husband, Eric.

I'm a marketer from 9-5 but a creative soul all day every day. I love painting with watercolor, sitting on the porch watching the sunrise and meditating. I've always loved to talk, so podcasting is a natural fit for me and over the past year, I've spent a lot of time diving in to mindset and manifestation work. It's changed my outlook on life and made me a lot less high strung.

When I'm not wearing my mom, marketing or spouse hat, I enjoy exercising. Sometimes I'm motivated enough to look like a snack. Other times, I just like eating snacks.