Episode 7

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Published on:

14th Dec 2023

Motherly's State of Motherhood

Motherly's State of Motherhood and the Mental Load

Join us and special guest, Kate Anderson, Chief of Staff at Motherly to discuss their annual State of Motherhood report. The largest body of research regarding motherhood and issues impacting families.

Kate Anderson is a leader in generating change and gender equality within the startup space.

As a Chief of Staff at Motherly, a wellbeing destination empowering mothers to thrive with expert content, innovative product solutions, and supportive community. Motherly engages an audience of 40 million+ readers and viewers a month, with on-demand parent education classes, Webby-award winning videos, The Motherly Podcast, essays, and articles, and a highly-engaged social media community.

As co-founder and VP of Operations of IFundWomen, she has driven millions of dollars into the hands of female founders. IFundWomen's flexible crowdfunding platform combines a pay-it-forward model, expert startup coaching, professional video production, and a private community for its entrepreneurs, all with the goal of helping female entrepreneurs launch successful businesses.

Prior to launching IFundWomen, Kate spent four years at Hines Interests, one of the largest and most respected real estate organizations in the world with more than $116 billion under management.

Kate earned her BA from Colgate University and received a Masters of Professional Studies from Georgetown University.

Nearly 10,000 mothers completed our sixth annual survey, conducted from Feb. 26 to March 13, 2023. To ensure our results represent today’s mothers accurately, we weighted the data to align with US Census demographic data. Our report focuses on the findings from millennial and Gen Z mothers, but we also provide some insights from Gen X mothers who participated in the survey. Findings continue to validate that today’s mothers are parenting without adequate structural support.

Findings of the survey:

The Great Resignation for Moms:

  • SAHM has nearly doubled from 15% in 2022 to 25% in 2023
  • The message is clear: to return to work, families need flexible work schedules and affordable childcare

Current events contradicting that:

  • Return to office movement
  • Childcare cliff we just went over as of 9/30

Discussion: It’s almost like we need a motherhood union. The great resignation reminds me of when unions first started and workers went on strike for one day and realized that companies would wait them out for the one day and take it as a loss, so that’s how we came to unions as we know it today where all members strike and we have collective bargaining. How do we raise immediate awareness and demand change? Why are companies so resistant to offering what seems like an easy solution?

Selfcare looks different as moms prioritize sleep over sex and friends:

  • Date nights are down
  • Number of times/week moms are having sex are down by 54%
  • Reasons: adding a new baby & not having time
  • Moms are getting more sleep, but this stat still lags for black moms
  • Planning to go out with friends proves to be too difficult

Discussion: having the time is more than your partner just yelling at the kids to get a bunch of chores done so you feel “relaxed” enough to have sex that night.

Household and family responsibilities fall more on moms than even at the height of Covid.

Key findings and takeaways:

  • 58% of moms feel they shoulder the main responsibilities of their household 
  • Ranges from pet care to scheduling appointments
  • Many feel their partners don’t know what it takes to run their household

Discussion: the daily vs the “once and a while tasks” - why dads end up with the better deal.

Mental Health:

Key findings and takeaways:

  • 46% of moms seeking therapy
  • Number of sessions/year has increased
  • Fueled by anxiety and depression
  • Despite media attention, education is at the bottom of the worry list

Discussion: the mental load and anxiety/depression is self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts

8/10 mothers worry about a recession and are making cuts

  • Most mothers report feeling stressed financially
  • Moms are responsible for 85% of the purchasing decisions
  • Major economic indicator
  • Many families aren’t prepared for a $1k unexpected expense which puts families at risk

What can we do as families to lighten the mental load?

Teach our kids to look at the week with us and anticipate what they're going to need to do each day, or just be mentally and emotionally prepared to go through their week.

Show artwork for The Mental Load

About the Podcast

The Mental Load
Breaking a generational cycle to create equal households
Two millennial moms explore the mental load. Here’s the deal, we’re the first generation of women who saw both of our parents work outside the home. And, because kids are oblivious to how much work it takes to actually raise them, we naturally assumed that our parents split everything else it took to run our households. Then we grew up, got married and were like what the f***? You know this conversation. You probably have it with your mom friends all the time. It’s your never ending to-do list. The perception that you’re the household manager and keeper of all the stuff and the things. The mental load is so much more complex than delegating out chores and duties or telling women to practice “self care” or “take a day off”. We don’t want a day off, we want husbands who are more “switched on” throughout the day. How do we have this conversation in our household? What systems keep the mental load in place? Why does the mental load even exist? We’re here to explore all of these topics and really dig into the small and large changes that need to happen in order to better support women and therefore, families in America.
And we’re here to bring this conversation to the forefront and help break a generational cycle so that as we raise girls AND boys, they know what it means to truly have an equal household.

About your host

Profile picture for Katlynn Pyatt

Katlynn Pyatt

Hi! I'm Katlynn. I'm a mom of three kids: Hudson, Nora and Willa. I might be biased, but they're pretty amazing kids. I'm super proud of myself for making them! I also have a very loving and supportive husband, Eric.

I'm a marketer from 9-5 but a creative soul all day every day. I love painting with watercolor, sitting on the porch watching the sunrise and meditating. I've always loved to talk, so podcasting is a natural fit for me and over the past year, I've spent a lot of time diving in to mindset and manifestation work. It's changed my outlook on life and made me a lot less high strung.

When I'm not wearing my mom, marketing or spouse hat, I enjoy exercising. Sometimes I'm motivated enough to look like a snack. Other times, I just like eating snacks.